There's a buffalo in Bangladesh, there's a buffalo in Bangladesh. That's all I've heard from Meat all week long.
Have you heard? No? You must not live next to Meat & Tater.
Imagine, the sad albino buffalo, headed to be sacrificed for a Muslim holiday, retrieved because its hair, skin and eyes bore an uncanny resemblance to a particular spray tanned denizen of D.C.
The buffalo went from the butcher's block to the national zoo where citizen's are lined up to see a bovine nicknamed, of course, Donald Trump. Talk about your sacred cow!
At least that's how Tater tells it. The photos Meat shared are pretty convincing. It's the first living creature I've ever seen with the same hair as DonJohn. So if any of you are thinking about a new doo, try albino buffalo.
That's not all the pair were fired up about. They're about to fly north to Vermont and from there to Toronto for a World Cup match next weekend. They hung around for last night's Nicholas Jamerson show over in Whitesburg. I sat with them for a while.
"I didn't know you were so into soccer," was my comment when Tater mentioned their trip.
"Are you kidding, I was an all-state goalie in high school," she replied.
Meat interjected, "Wait a minute. I thought that was hockey."
"It was. Hockey, soccer, and lacrosse." Me again, "You were a lacrosse goalie, too?"
Tater winced, "O no. Those girls are crazy. I meant I was all-state in that, too."
My eyes widened. "Wow. All-state in 3 sports, that's pretty amazing. And how private was that high school?"
Meat put his arm around her. "Remember SJ, there's more people in Pike county than the whole state of Vermont. How hard could it be?"
Tater's elbow thunded into Meat's ribs. He groaned, "Not to take anything away from ya honey."
I moved on. "Well why don't you go to L.A. and see the USA play? Why Canada?"
"Are you kidding?" Tater again. "Tickets in Toronto were only a couple house payments. Tickets in L.A. are the price of a house. My high school might have been exclusive, but not that exclusive."
Meat couldn't hold it in. "You mean they didn't have quidditch?"
She couldn't help but laugh as she pushed him aside. "No, but you're going to get the broom when we get home."
"Hey SJ, did you see those guys going in and out of manholes into the New York sewer system?" I nodded, "yeah".
"What do you think they're doing?" Tater jumps in. "I told you what they're doing, they're panning for diamonds. There's a million commodes in New York City, think of all the stuff going down those things. It's just floating along for the taking."
"Sounds like a long shot to me, how many people throw jewelry down the drain?" I say. "Might be something a lot more sinister. You gotta be pretty twisted to climb into that."
Meat gave us a long, slow raspberry, his best whoopee cushion impression. "Y'all are so predictable. Be creative. Think outside the box. Think out there! Think buffalo in Bangladesh kinda out there."