It's a great week when the leaves pop out and Meat & Tater pop in. They've been on the road since Mardi Gras.
I heard them pull in and it wasn't five minutes before they were coming through the front door.
Tater was first and had me in a deep hug before I could speak. It lasted about as long as Meat could say "How's Captain Chemo?" from behind her. She let go, wheeled around, and smacked him high on the shoulder.
"What is wrong with you?" she yelled, then smacked him high on the opposite shoulder. Meat trying to duck her swings on both sides doubled me over. She hasn't quite gotten accustomed to our communication habits, but I knew exactly what was wrong with him.
"I bet he's been listening to Stephen Miller speeches while you're sleeping on the road, that's what's wrong with him, Tater." I winked at Meat before she turned around.
"I could see that happening, he was on his playlist." She pulled me into a hug again. "So good to see you, but we haven't been on the road."
Meat dropped himself on the couch. "I thought he was that comedian Miller, you know, the Saturday Night Live guy." I could feel Tater rolling her eyes, but I could definitely see Meat thinking that. She let go, turned around and sat next to Meat.
"Where have you been if you haven't been on the road?"
Meat looked at Tater. "Captain Chemo ain't bad. At least I didn't call him Gummy Gotnoteeth." Tater's eyes widened and her cheeks turned bright red. Then she smacked his thigh. "You weren't supposed to repeat that you jerk!" Meat grinned.
Smiling on the inside and laughing on the outside I repeated. "Where have you been, I thought it was Mardi Gras then work your way down to the Keys."
Meat responded, "Maybe you noticed, gas was two-sixty and now it's over four bucks. New Orleans was great, but we barely worked our way as far as the Florida line before the Secretary of Warpaint and Netanyahu convinced the Donald to bomb Iran. Price of gas jumped so much in two days we decided the best plan was a beeline back to here."
"That was over a month ago. Did you walk home from Pensacola?"
Tater this time. "The closer we got to home the more depressed we got." Meat followed. "So we stopped at Dollywood for a couple of nights." Back to Tater. "Then we rented one of those little honeymoon cabins with a hot tub." They both went quiet.
I eyed them. "You didn't leave anything out, did you?"
They looked at each other then both held out their hands and wiggled their fingers at me. There was nothing on their fingers. They laughed together. Meat looked my way. "Well you gotta do more than hike and soak so we did a little gambling in the stock market. Ever hear of the taco trade?"
"No." I hadn't. Tater responded. "Taco-Trump Always Chickens Out. Just remember that and play your stocks accordingly. We made enough in two weeks to buy the cabin." Meat pulled a single key on a ring and shook it at me.
"So we did."