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Today is the day millions of Americans try to decipher the expiration date on a frozen 8 pack of Oscar Mayers in the back of the freezer. It always ends with a run to the store because you've got no buns anyway.

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The big day is near. It is the scariest day of the year!

There's always a silver lining. Imagine the import business on vodka, caviar, and Siberian tiger coats.

I'm having a hard time deciding where to start this week. Maybe I should take a poll.