It's never a good sign for a president to be compared to Richard Nixon. The Donald is doing his best to change that. There's one guy who's banking on it.
I can't remember what presidential invective preceded Nixonian. It might have been Johnsonian, but many would have wondered which one. Hooverian? Filmorian? Jacksonian?
Trump claims to admire Andrew Jackson because he had a big heart. It takes a big heart to welch on a deal with the Cherokee and march them 1000 miles west. I didn't know the trail was named after Ole Hickory's tears.
But I disgress. The Fraud in the Oval Office is being compared to Tricky Dick for, among other things, firing FBI Director James Comey. We decided to go to the source, so to speak, to find out if these comparisons are accurate.
I downloaded the Ouija Board App for Android, tweeted Meat and Tater to virtually hold hands with me, lit a few candles, and started the chant.
"Richard Nixon, you're no crook, come on down and take a look..."
Meat and Tater repeated it with me on speaker. It took a couple minutes before I got the response.
"Frost, is that you Frost?"
"No Mr. President, it's SJ. I wanted to know what you think about Trump being compared to you."
"Let me tell you first, if the president does it, it's not illegal."
"So Trump's done nothing wrong?"
"O no, there's nothing legal about that fraud."
"So you disapprove of firing the FBI Director?"
"I didn't have to. J Edgar died right before I was re-elected. And I never fired anybody. They all resigned, except that darned Cox. I let Bork pull the trigger on that one."
"But the press is calling Trump's actions Nixonian."
"The press is the enemy. I said that."
"Yes, you did, I read some of your quotes before Ouija-ing you."
"But let me tell you this young man, I was not lying. I said things that later seemed untrue."
"Yes I read that one too."
"If we'd had internet in my day, I'd still be in DC. I may have done some things I shouldn't have, but I"ll tell you what I didn't do."
"I didn't need Leonid Brezhnev to get me into the White House. I never colluded with any Communists against my own countrymen. So what if I planted a bug or two? I didn't beg the Russians to break into the Democratic Headquarters, I did it myself."
"Well that you did, sir."
"Off the record, of course."
"Of course, sir. So you don't care for Trump?"
"It's a funny thing how you people do things down there. When I said 'I am not a crook', people either believed me or they didn't, but they paid attention. This Trump guy say's 'Look at me, I'm a crook' and nobody cares! I'd say ole Comey just learned all about 'The Art of the Deal."
"I'd say you're right sir. Anything else?"
"I've seen this game before and I know how it plays out. When it's over, you people won't be comparing presidents to me anymore. And I'll be a free spirit."